2. Would twitter have been so successful if they had named it after the sound of another animal? I can't exactly see myself "meowing".
3. One of the best feelings in the world are a pair of new socks. Its like moving into a fresh white house with brand new carpet...ahhhh new socks.
I went to college and all the kids who had guitars had really cute girlfriends. So I bought one and stood on campus holding it. A really cute girl came up to me and asked me how long I was gonna wait before I played a song for her. I replied, "That depends. How long does it take to learn how to play guitar?" she walked away. Now I just carry a boombox like Radio Rahim. The girls are less cute and wear a lot of gold chains.
5. I don't care WHAT animal lovers say, MY MOUTH is cleaner than a dog or a cats. I sat and watched a dog lick his own balls for 11 minutes one day. As to why I watched for the entire 11 minutes, it was a slow day at work but thats besides the point. I also so a cat lick his own butt....I know what comes out of there...thats not so clean.
5a. Well, now that I think about it, some adults are partial to licking butts
too. It used to be so black and white when I was talking about cats and
dogs, but now you throw humans in and its gray to me. Moral of the story
if you MUST lick a butt...brush and Scope it people.
6. If you are in the NBA and get paid MILLIONS to play basketball, you should be fined 5000 dollars EVERY TIME you miss a FREE throw. It's an open shot. If you cant make an open shot 15 feet away from a basket (and you are ONLY on average 3.5 feet shorter than the basket....you shouldn't be a ball player).
7. I was watching an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with a four year old on Monday and as a grown up i had a few questions. You mean to tell me that while people found it odd that there were these 6 foot muscular surfer talking, karate chopping, pizza eating turtles that lived in the sewer...NOBODY found it strange that shredder was a 6 foot man in a purple Under Armour shirt, a cape, and a mangled trash can on his head? Also,...why would SIX FOOT MUSCULAR SURFER TALKING, KARATE CHOPPING, PIZZA EATING TURTLES need to wear masks...chances are they are prolly the only ones out there. What the hell was Krang?
8. Does anyone know exactly WHY we were even looking for Waldo? I mean you go through all that trouble and once find him you turn the page. Thats kinda dumb, especially if he owes you money.
9. Whoever thought of musical chairs was a horrible party host. I play this annoying and very often VIOLENT game and all I win is a chance to sit down? I hate contests where you dont really win anything. I'm sure they also invented the Pepsi Challenge
10. Where is Ananda Lewis? And what happened to Teen Summit?
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