10 Things: I Wish White People Would Stop Doing

1. Touching black peoples hair and acting like its the first time they have ever seen something different from their own.

2. Feeling the need to identify race when telling a story that has nothing to do with race. ex: So my friend, he's black/asian/indian, and I are driving down the street...

3. Using the term "reverse racism". It takes a person with a complete and utter attitude of entitlement to think racism should in its general sense ONLY be applied by White people and if something racist happens to them...it is REVERSE racism...its just racism fool!

3B. Being upset at Affirmative Action: Sorry to break it to you, but you're already four times more likely to get whatever spot is available at whatever institution or job...affirmative action tries to even out the playing field..and it doesnt even truthfully succeed at that. Allow me to tell you a story. I took a test to measure my intelligence and capabilities to be placed in the Honors program my freshman year of high school. I scored a 99% on the test. It was the HIGHEST TEST SCORE RECORDED IN 17 years...or so im told. (Yea, im just as shocked as you are lol)However, since I was coming from an all black low income school and going to the "creme de la crem" school on the white side of town, I was told that the test was different and I wouldnt have scored a 99 on their test. So my mother told them to test me again. They did. It was the exact same test. I scored a 99 again. What did they do? Put me on ACADEMIC PROBATION and told my mother if i get less than an 87% in any of my classes I would be sent to regular classes. THAT is why we have Affirmative action to combat brash racism like that.

4. Walking on asphalt with no shoes or socks: I love white people. Thats why I dont want you to get hurt. There are rocks and shards of glass on the ground. Unless you have those George Of The Jungle feet, you could get seriously injured.

5. Being the goofy, almost racist comedic relief in black movies: This actually doubles as something I want both black and white people to stop doing. Tom Arnold and his family in Soul Plane, Warren Beaty in the movie with Halle Berry that nobody saw, The white men in BAPS, Steve Martin in that stupid movie with Queen Latifah. RAPPING GRANNIES. White actors...YOU OWN HOLLYWOOD. I would like to think you wouldnt have to degrade yourselves in such a way. Its demeaning enough for BLACK people to act like asses in dumb black comedies...you don't have to do it too. You're better than that. I think we all are.

6. Dancing and Clapping off beat: ACTUALLY i love this about white people. I went to a dive bar the other week and my friend and I were the only black people there and they were playing some of the most GANGSTA music I had ever heard. (In fact they played the Ghetto Boyz "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta")White folks were clappin off beat, slow dancing to fast songs and vice versa and it made me VERY happy. You dance not to the beat of the music but to the beat of your own drummer. Never lose that about yourselves.

7. Equating the Civil Rights Movement to the Gay Rights Movement: Now, before I get hate mail. Im actually FOR GAY RIGHTS. I think gays have the right to get married and they have the unalienable constitutional rights of all american citizens. BUT, there are two flaws in saying "We are fighting the same cause". 1. The jury is still out on whether we as humans choose our sexual preference or if we are genetically predisposed to the liking of penis or vagina. HOWEVER, when I was born there was no nurse there asking if i wanted to be black or white. 2. A race of people fighting for the right to be recognized as equal human beings is a bit different than fighting over the samantics of marriage. As far as I know there are no gay and straight drinking fountains.

8. Being Upset With The Election Of President Obama: America has been a country for about 233 years and for 232 years and 5 months its most powerful man has always been white. A black man gets in office for 7 months, and certain factions of America cant seem to take it. Its one thing to complain about his policies, its one thing to say, I just plain don't like him. Its quite another to illegitimize his citizenship by claiming he isnt an American citizen and is a secret terrorist. We all called Bush an idiot and even said he didnt too much care about minorities, we called him a liar and a host of other things. We never called him an Al-Quaida operative (even though he helped recruit a lot more men than Osama). That kind of speech is ignorant and dangerous and I will not tolerate it about my (and whether you like it or not..your) president.

9. Getting Attacked By Animals That You Should Never Be Attacked By: Mauled by a bear? Eaten by an alligator? A Tiger? A GIRAFFE?: I wont say much about this besides...white people...you should really have figured this one out by now. First, stop going into the woods and pissing off animals in their living room. Alligators and bears arent like black dudes, they wont let you pet their hair and comment about how wooly it is. They will just attack you. Also, black people AND LIONS have been living in Africa for centuries............dont often read about them losing an arm trying to save their kids from lion attacks....im just sayin.

10. Being scared of all other races: Back when I was living in Georgia, a white man told me, "Im tired of giving to everybody else when my family and the family of other good white men BUILT America. The country was BUILT ON OUR BACKS and you guys keep trying to take it away. This is my America". A bold thing to say in a group of black men, but I respected him for his dillusions. Truth be told, slave labor built the American economy into what it is today (Its very easy to become the richest nation in the world when you have free laborers for 100 years.), the Chinese built the railroad system that made us even more powerful, and the great strength of our military was in its numbers, intelligence, and the fearlessness of its soldiers, an assortment of races. I know the ever changing, multi-cultural, interracial world of today may seem scary to those who want to hold on to the image of America as pure white as the driven snow or a Norman Rockwell painting, but that is not America. We are a diverse country with diverse people. No need to fear the changes or the people making them.

Ten Things: I Wish Black People Would Stop Doing

1. Giving babies stupid names: Everyone wants their child to be interesting and unique and many times that starts with an interesting name, but there is a fine line between creative and destructive. If your name is Mary and your husband's name is Kevin....don't name your son Markevin. If you really want to give your children a gift they can realize when they grow up, give them a name that will allow them to get a job.

2. Being Ignorant In Public: In the confines of your own home its ok to be a lil Coon if you would like...in fact...nothing realizes stress better than breaking out some coonery. HOWEVER, the middle of a public venue is NOT the time to become a shufflin negro with no home training. I was recently waiting for a table at a restaraunt when a couple walked in and stood behind me for 15 minutes. The woman began to raise all hell because she was not being seated. Had she calmly inquired as to why...the coon would have realized that you have to go to the hostess and announce yourself and THEN they find you a table (I would have thought anyone who has ever been out to eat knows that, but you cant take coons anywhere).

3. Rapping and Singing To Yourself In Public: I know the lyrics...you know the lyrics and Lil Wayne and Alicia Keys still perform their songs a little better than you. Stop looking like a fool, this isnt the bathroom mirror and you're not anyones American Idol.

4. Rewarding idiocy: African Americans have a literacy rate almost as low as immigrants and the said part is we aren't trying to learn English as a second language. Parents please stop encouraging your children to talk "street" and then being surprised that the street is the only arena where they can succeed. Enunciation and proper syntax aren't being white. They are traits of intelligent men and women.
Celebrating the little boy who wants to rap but can't even write a sentence is pathetic. Instead of buying your son Jeezy the snowman shirts how about buying them a book. Instead of having them look up to lil Wayne how about a doctor or a lawyer. When I was a kid my Unt and uncles would ask me to say my abcs and then reward me for knowing them. Now kids get rewards for knowing how to do the "stanky leg"

5. Complaining: Slave ships came and got us...thats true...we spent years suffering the indignities of slavery...yes, true. We then have spent the rest of our existence as a people fighting against the outrageous injustices of discrimination and hatred...nothing is closer to the truth. However, the story we tell at the end of the day should be we succeeded "in spite of" not failed "because of". Black people need to recognize that our race is our strongest asset, not our greatest liability. Just like bodybuilding, added stress and repeated abuse only serve as a sort of natural selection that has made us a much more resilient people. Its why 200 years out of slavery we are some of the most fine tuned athletes, most talented artists, and most creative minds on the planet. If you open up your eyes to realize we all have our own struggles to overcome then you would know there is nothing to complain about.

6. Senseless Obama Praise: Now, I worked for the Obama campaign in CHICAGO where it all started. I know the man's policies, I know the man's ideas, I know how the organization works and I know just how great of a president he could possibly be. Like many, I'm not ashamed to say I fell to my knees and wept like a baby when he was elected because to black people across the world, we never thought the day would come when America allowed itself to truly be an equal country...even for a day. That BEING SAID....it is one of my greatest pet peeves to hear a black person talking about how great Obama is and then when you ask them for his policies they can't name ONE. In fact, very many elderly black men and women dont actually AGREE with Obama's more liberal thinking. I love the man and what he stands for as much as the next black/white/yellow/or red guy, but know WHY you stand behind a man before you stand behind him.

7. Wasting Money: On average we earn thousands less than whites yet spend thousands more. Jordans are nice shoes, but when you make 13 dollars an hour, your 9 year old son doesn't have to them. Having realistic priorities...thats what differentiates adults from children.

8. Being In McDonalds Commercials: Somewhere along the lines McDonald's ditched its iconic slogan "Have you had you're break today?" and replaced it and the smiling multi-cultural faces of its pretend staff and clientele with boombastic niggeriffic imagery. I'm tired of seeing black people poplocking and rapping why eating Big Macs. I have never been in McDonalds and ordered a #3 and then leaned back in a B-Boy stance nor as a child did was my DREAM to work at a Mcdonalds (like one commercial suggests of a 4 year old black boy and his older brother). Its pure racist madness and yet black actors keep auditioning for the role of Nigga #1 and Nigga #2. As a black actor myself I realize roles are hard to come and easy to lose, but integrity is even harder to come by and once you trade it for $300 dollars and a free lunch, you don't get it back.

9. Wearing any gold, platinum, or silver mouth apparatus that isn't braces: I dont really have anything against gold fronts and the like...i mean besides the fact that they make you look incredibly stupid. My problem is...I've never met a person with that crap in their mouth who's breath DIDNT smell like hangover vomit. *Forrest Gump voice* and thats really all I have to say about that.

10. WATCHING BET: Black Entertainment Television hasn't been black or entertaining for quite some years, but since selling itself to radically racist Sumner Redstone and his Empire of Evil (Which includes, but is not limited to: Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and the most often gag inducing (both for her concrete like face and for the things that fall out of it) He-She, Greta Van Susteren), BET has been little more than a cartoon. A walking joke that depicts Black America in the most negative of lights. By cutting the nightly news program from the station, Redstone and Viacomm succeeded in stealing the station's last vestige of intelligence. Now, BET is little more than a cautionary tale of what can happen to a good idea when it is influenced by not so good of people. And along the way it has done more than its share to contribute to the de-evolution of young black men and women across the country and the deterioration of the black image. KKK members should pay homage to Bob Johnson and his cohorts for making such a powerful recruiting tool for white supremacists. The station is a celebration of coonery at every angle and is in no truer a representation of black life than gangsta rap is a representative of "the streets". It has spawned a nation of white children imitating what they think it is to be black, to the embarrassment of us all. It has given us a half hearted "Rap it up" campaign (one that disgusts me not only because they air the commercials right after endorsing videos in which artists are OPENLY TALKING ABOUT UNSAFE SEX, but also because they think so very little of their audience that they couldn't even spell wrap correctly. As if black men and women will only respond to "hip hop" oriented messages, making a complete mockery of the situations severity), "Coonery Hill" and a host of other blemishes on the face of black america. Recently, BET honored our greatest star at the BET Awards by wholly dishonoring him. A poorly run, uninspired, vulgar, mess of a show. Exactly the opposite of every SINGLE thing that Michael Jackson stood for. The only solace I take is that had Michael Jackson been alive, he wouldn't even have attended the awards ceremony anyhow. I wont be attending anymore either.

A Good Guys Truth

Quite often I am accosted by single women with complaints of their not being enough good men "out there". Usually, I have the patience to just humor them and tell them everything is going to be alright. I tell them that they are too good for their ex or that in time they will find the person they are looking for, however, the other day an older man in the gym said something that resonated with me. "Brian", he said while rubbing beads of sweat off his brow, "a friend is a person who tells it like it is. Not how it should be." Then his lifting buddy, a slight man with sixty years of wisdom and probably sixty gray strands of hair, joined the discussion. "My mother used to say the wounds of omission cut a lot deeper than the wounds of the truth...and they take a lot more time to heal." So in lieu of these two very very truthful statements, I must now be very very true. Here it goes:

Dear Women,

I know this doesn't apply to all of you and there are many of you who don't need to hear this. Sadly though, there are many many more of you who do. All the nights you sat by the phone waiting for him to call, all the nights spent staining satin pillows with the salt of your tears...it is all YOUR fault. You and only you are to blame for the problems you have encountered in relationships. Forgive me if I sound harsh but I know of no other way to deliver sound a message. The truth is, many, NOT ALL, but many women suffer not from a lack of options but from a lack of maturity. There truly are a vast amount of good, hard-working, god-fearing, "I can bring him home to meet my parents" type of men "out there". The problem is simply that what you say you want and what you constantly decide to have are in constant opposition to one another. For the younger sect of women who say they want a nice guy, tell me then why you break your neck and run off the next woman to be with the man with no job, no prospects, and no ambition? Perhaps such an inexplicable behavior lends itself to the poisonous notion that you can "fix" a man. Take it from a man, you can not. You are all beautiful inside and out, but frankly there doesn't exist a single woman on Earth that "makes me wanna be a better man". Putting a new coat of paint on a house doesn't keep the termites from eating its rotting foundation. Change always comes from within and then radiates outward. A man will change when a MAN DECIDES it is time for him to change. Not because of your handy work. Use some of your common sense and stop looking to change a bad situation into a good one....and just look for a good situation. And if, by chance, you still find yourself wanting something that cant be tamed...go ride a wild horse.
It is true that men have our issues, but you exacerbate things by becoming willing enablers to all the drama. In fact, it is a distinct lack of maturity that draws the women I am referring to toward drama. You seem to crave it. A woman once told me that if a relationship is completely devoid of drama its boring. Obviously, she has not stepped into the real world. OUT HERE in the real world there are plenty of dramatic things and as one of the real and good men you claim to seek I can tell you that as hard as life can be for a man, a real man doesn't want to come home to a storm in his relationship. In fact, a real man doesn't look to cause the people he loves any unnecessary strife. Children fight. Adults communicate.
Speaking of communication, I want to take some time in this letter to ask questions rather than open wounds. Why be with someone who is not equipped emotionally to handle an adult relationship? Is it because you aren't? Why be with someone who is verbally abusive? Do you believe so little in yourself that nurturing conversation hurts you? If the thug life doesn't appeal to you, why chase after those who fit its image? If you can't bring him to your parents home, why even bring him to yours?
Remember that we are the exact mirror image of that which we pursue. If you are in pursuit of those who just arent that good then its time to evaluate you. So when I told you that you were too good for your ex, I apologize for lying to a multitude of friends. You were just as good as him. You deserved him. And until you begin to wise up and break whatever chains constrain you to this behavior, he is all that you deserve. I am not saying this to ruffle your feathers or because I am jaded. I am saying it because I love each and every one of you. There are good men out there and in time you may open your eyes to the many standing right in front of you, but you'll never deserve better than what you are.

Love,

Brian

A Pause For The Cause: Love: In Black And White

I recently read a blog post by my buddy Stuart McDonald, you should give it a read ( http://stuartmcdonald.wordpress.com/2009/07/06/yes-i-like-black-women-is-that-a-problem/ ) , that was in response to an article that was disparaging interracial relationships. Like Stuart, or Stuey D. Williams as I like to call him, I am an avid and often times voracious reader of differing opinions. Though a staunch Democrat, I can understand and agree with many Republicans. Though a die hard Chicago Bears fan, I can appreciate and congratulate the Green Bay Packers for such a plethora of accomplishments garnered over their existence. I am a man, but can put myself in the shoes of a woman (not LITERALLY). The point I'm trying to make is that I have always took pride in being able to be judicious and cerebral in my thought process. I am proud of my ability to see both sides of the argument, however, when it comes to those who disagree with interracial relationships, I find them baseless and ignorant. Nothing more. Nothing less. I come from the home of a strong black family and the womb of a strong black woman and my skin is a constant reminder of the heritage I carry. Many feel that dating outside of my race stains that heritage in some way or another. Many feel as if it dilutes my blackness just because the woman at my side is Hispanic or Caucasian or Asian or any other tone that isnt distinctly "brown". I have dated outside of my race many times in the past and it has always been a very pleasant experience behind closed doors. However, I find myself constantly confronted with a world outside my window that is obsessed with turning something so beautiful into something so incredibly ugly. For those who think races should not "mix" tell me what exactly is wrong with two people being in love. I had an older white man tell me that black men who date white women are only doing it because they have a sexual fetish toward "his" women and that we still carried a "chip on our shoulder" from slavery and were anxious to use white women to even the score. Well, I've always been a believer in debunking idiocy with dry logic so here we go: If sexual intercourse in itself is a fetish and white men have been having sex with black women since Aunt Jemima was young, wouldn't that make him part of the worlds "freakiest" ancestry? Secondly, black men DO in fact carry the lingering weight of slavery and racism on their shoulders, but how exactly would dating a white woman "even the score" when it only serves to make everyone act even MORE harshly toward you. Its like taking a bath in honey then running with a bee's nest past Winnie The Pooh...its not that smart of an idea.
I had a black woman tell me that my dating of women outside of my race was pathetic and that I was only doing it because I was intimidated by black women. I love black women. My mother and two sisters are among them and I do believe that there is something quite magnificent about power of a black woman. That being said, I love all women and for one race (even if I happen to be a part of that race) to believe that their struggle is in some way superior to that of another is quite arrogant. It takes strength to be an honest and good woman of ANY race and if we all took the time to look outside of ourselves we would see the beautiful nuances that exist within the culture of our neighbors. I love the strength and beauty a black woman carries with her through the adversities of being black in America and a woman in a man's world. I love the sensuality of hispanic woman and their poise they display living in an America that feels it is quite alright to be racist and misogynistic toward them because Americans seem to feel "its only racism if its aimed at African Americans." Yes, I even love the nature a white woman has to carry because (believe it or not) it is not incredibly easy to be ANY kind of woman in America especially a white woman risking everything to love a man who isnt her same skin color. What I want you to take from this rather long and rather unorganize jumble of thoughts is that it takes bravery to love a person and when a two people of any color decide to make that leap of faith it should be celebrated not denigrated. When I pick a wife it will be a decision made not from sexual fetish or settling scores, nor from loyalty to my race. It will be a decision I have come to earnestly and out of loyalty to my heart. The bible says that God made US in HIS image. I own just about every interpretation of the bible that exists and never have I once seen it say, God made some white people and some black people and come yellow people and some red people and then told them you are all different and you should never come together". When I do read that I will be more than happy to reduce my options to only those sharing my brown skin, but until then I see no point. There is nothing more pure fulfilling than love. Those who choose to live their lives on an empty pursuit of ugliness can do just that. I, however, will enjoy life in all its hues and be all the better for it in the end. Food 4 Thought...eat freely

Although I am only 23 I have lived quite a full life and have learned a very many lessons on the way. Here are just five I would like to share with you:

1.ITS EASIER TO TELL THE BRUTAL TRUTH THAN A BLATANT LIE: Being politically correct is only correct if you're a politician, for everyone else it is nothing more than being a coward and most times a liar. During our lives we will all be faced with times in which we choose to tell the truth and hurt someone or we can choose to lie and make ourselves feel better. Take it from me, you may hurt one person with the truth, but you hurt everyone involved with your lie.

2. NEVER PUT YOUR TRUST IN PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR IT: I've always been a friend to anyone and everyone who has needed one. I recognize that a friend is a person who doesn't need to be told when its time to be one and never needs your validation. People who openly vie for your trust are people who are trying to veil themselves in your security. They are only in your life to hurt you. Give your trust sparingly and only to those who have earned it with a quiet dignity and respect becoming of a true friend.

3. (MEN) THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS: Although I may at times come off as rude, arrogant, or whatever other portrait those foriegn of me try to paint, I have a heart as big as the open sky. However, in recent years it has always come back to haunt me. I cant count how many times I have found myself in bad situations trying to "save" other people. Guys, realize that there is no such thing as a "damsel in distress" and you are never going to be a "knight in shining armor". The truth is that life is pretty indiscriminate and that whatever your life becomes is entirely what YOU made it. So when you see that woman with the sob story...maybe she is struggling to stay in college....maybe she is a single mother...maybe she cant pay her rent...when u see HER barely keeping her head above water...the best thing to do is to LET HER DROWN! The only savior in this universe is Jesus. Thats why HE could walk on water. In your case, she will use you as her life raft and ride you to safety and out of whatever bad situation she is in, after that you will be discarded like a Haitian inner tube. Dont be struck by a pretty face, once the novelty of it all wears off you will find she is not the girl you loved, she is not the person you respected and her pretty face masks a decaying personality. Keep in mind that she will NOT save you. Keep in mind that her decision making got her to where she is. Don't jump into troubled waters...you have not the life jacket to weather her storm.

4. FEAR IS AN INDICATOR OF SUCCESS: You go to work day in and day out mindlessly, never once putting any thought to the terrifying notion that you could very well work a job you hate for the rest of your life. However, when the idea of quitting and chasing after your dream rears its head, you are petrified. Its normal to fear the unknown, but take a second to ponder this: Very few people are successful and they have all traveled the same path. Take a walk through the wilderness. Your calling may lie hidden in the wilderness. Take the unbeaten path.

5. LIVE ON FIRE: Life is such a precious gift I think it has to be a sin to only exist. Take a chance to truly enjoy life and always live it with the same fire and passion as your creator. The breath in your lungs is a precious thing few have ever gotten to experience and each day you survive is one day more than a vast majority of the population. Every sunrise makes you a champion so live your life as if you've already won. Live fully. Live freely. Life on fire.