Thursday, July 1, 2010

10 Things...U Don't Know About Me

1. I used to stutter so badly I was afraid for people to speak to me
2. I have a yearly dream I die at 30
3. I've had a sexual relationship with a woman whom I later found out was quite an accomplished adult
film star.
4. Most of the time, when I write fiction, I do it at my computer with my eyes closed (literally...I
watch my thoughts like a movie and record what I see)
5. I had my first real kiss at age 5 and cried because I thought it was very very wrong.
6. I have remembered the name of every person who has caused me emotional trauma and th dates of when
Occured. Then I beat myself up furiously in the gym and
when I can't push any harder I recite their names, the
offense and when it happened.
7. I usually sleep about 2 hours a day.
8. I have studied taoism and tantra for 4 years
9. I have extreme issues of trust with all
people EXCEPT my mother.
10. I often see the face of my future child in my
dreams and she is so beautiful.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Relationship Fact & Fiction

Just thought I'd play a little game of fact and fiction ...relationship style!




FICTION: Your boyfriend hangs out with his friends without on the weekends and is not cheating

FACT: He is cheating

FICTION: You are the best sex she's ever had

FACT: You are the best sex shes ever had tonight...maybe

FICTION: Men are genuinely interested in going shopping with you

FACT: If we go shopping for a whole Saturday with you...we are generally interested in YOU and time with you

FICTION: Women win arguments because they are the smarter sex

FACT: Men lose arguments cause they are the smarter sex

FICTION: Wait three days to call her

FACT: During those three days six other guys will be calling her and you will be easily forgotten

FICTION: (Men) Spending over 100 dollars on a date means shes gonna give you some

FACT: (Women) Him spending over 100 dollars on a date just means he spent over 100 dollars on the date

FICTION: We don't mind when your best friend is over and you guys talk about ex boyfriends

FACT: We never wanna know any other guy existed before us

FICTION: Girls don't fart

FACT: Girls don't fart around US

FICTION: He will like you even if his friends HATE you.

FACT: She will like you BECAUSE her friends HATE you

FICTION: GIRLS don't like drama

FACT: WOMEN don't like drama

FICTION: Guys fear commitment

FACT: Guys fear commitment cause at some point someone REALLY hurt them

FICTION: He made you a nice dinner at home and rented your favorite movie cause he's romantic

FACT: He made you a nice dinner at home and rented your favorite movie cause he's broke this week

FICTION: She cheated cause shes a whore

FACT: She cheated cause you stopped listening

FACT:....or cause shes a whore

FICTION: Guys are insensitive to how you feel

FACT: He listens more than you think, thats why his friends know more about you than you ever thought

FICTION: He watches porn cause he's a pervert

FACT: Sometimes he's watching it to add something new to the bedroom

FICTION: Size doesn't matter

FACT: Her girlfriend knows so much about your wiener she could probably pick it out of a line-up

FICTION: Guys tell their buddies about every little sexual kink you have

FACT: We do that about girls we don't care about. Soon as we start caring we stop talking

FICTION: Guys hate when you "girl" up their homes

FACT: The stuff you bring into my house smells AMAZING and secretly I'd prefer it to smell and look like this

FICTION: Men are easy to figure out

FACT: The media and women have over the years over simplified men. We are more complex than you give us credit.

FICTION: If you just love them enough they will change

FACT: The only person who can make a person change is a cashier

FICTION: They are just really close friends

FACT: If a person spends more than half their time with someone and mentions them in conversations where that person isn't even around for...theres more to it than friendship.

FICTION: We aren't thinking about anything when you ask us "What are you thinking" and we respond "nothing"

FACT: We are thinking about "nothing" we want to talk to you about.

FICTION: She used to treat you like you didn't exist but now she's finally come around to liking you

FACT: She just got dumped and needs your adoration to feel better about herself again. Once the guy takes her back...you're back to being invisible.