10 Things...U Don't Know About Me

1. I used to stutter so badly I was afraid for people to speak to me
2. I have a yearly dream I die at 30
3. I've had a sexual relationship with a woman whom I later found out was quite an accomplished adult
film star.
4. Most of the time, when I write fiction, I do it at my computer with my eyes closed (literally...I
watch my thoughts like a movie and record what I see)
5. I had my first real kiss at age 5 and cried because I thought it was very very wrong.
6. I have remembered the name of every person who has caused me emotional trauma and th dates of when
Occured. Then I beat myself up furiously in the gym and
when I can't push any harder I recite their names, the
offense and when it happened.
7. I usually sleep about 2 hours a day.
8. I have studied taoism and tantra for 4 years
9. I have extreme issues of trust with all
people EXCEPT my mother.
10. I often see the face of my future child in my
dreams and she is so beautiful.

Relationship Fact & Fiction

Just thought I'd play a little game of fact and fiction ...relationship style!




FICTION: Your boyfriend hangs out with his friends without on the weekends and is not cheating

FACT: He is cheating

FICTION: You are the best sex she's ever had

FACT: You are the best sex shes ever had tonight...maybe

FICTION: Men are genuinely interested in going shopping with you

FACT: If we go shopping for a whole Saturday with you...we are generally interested in YOU and time with you

FICTION: Women win arguments because they are the smarter sex

FACT: Men lose arguments cause they are the smarter sex

FICTION: Wait three days to call her

FACT: During those three days six other guys will be calling her and you will be easily forgotten

FICTION: (Men) Spending over 100 dollars on a date means shes gonna give you some

FACT: (Women) Him spending over 100 dollars on a date just means he spent over 100 dollars on the date

FICTION: We don't mind when your best friend is over and you guys talk about ex boyfriends

FACT: We never wanna know any other guy existed before us

FICTION: Girls don't fart

FACT: Girls don't fart around US

FICTION: He will like you even if his friends HATE you.

FACT: She will like you BECAUSE her friends HATE you

FICTION: GIRLS don't like drama

FACT: WOMEN don't like drama

FICTION: Guys fear commitment

FACT: Guys fear commitment cause at some point someone REALLY hurt them

FICTION: He made you a nice dinner at home and rented your favorite movie cause he's romantic

FACT: He made you a nice dinner at home and rented your favorite movie cause he's broke this week

FICTION: She cheated cause shes a whore

FACT: She cheated cause you stopped listening

FACT:....or cause shes a whore

FICTION: Guys are insensitive to how you feel

FACT: He listens more than you think, thats why his friends know more about you than you ever thought

FICTION: He watches porn cause he's a pervert

FACT: Sometimes he's watching it to add something new to the bedroom

FICTION: Size doesn't matter

FACT: Her girlfriend knows so much about your wiener she could probably pick it out of a line-up

FICTION: Guys tell their buddies about every little sexual kink you have

FACT: We do that about girls we don't care about. Soon as we start caring we stop talking

FICTION: Guys hate when you "girl" up their homes

FACT: The stuff you bring into my house smells AMAZING and secretly I'd prefer it to smell and look like this

FICTION: Men are easy to figure out

FACT: The media and women have over the years over simplified men. We are more complex than you give us credit.

FICTION: If you just love them enough they will change

FACT: The only person who can make a person change is a cashier

FICTION: They are just really close friends

FACT: If a person spends more than half their time with someone and mentions them in conversations where that person isn't even around for...theres more to it than friendship.

FICTION: We aren't thinking about anything when you ask us "What are you thinking" and we respond "nothing"

FACT: We are thinking about "nothing" we want to talk to you about.

FICTION: She used to treat you like you didn't exist but now she's finally come around to liking you

FACT: She just got dumped and needs your adoration to feel better about herself again. Once the guy takes her back...you're back to being invisible.

What if Glenn Beck Was Black: A Response

A friend of mine recently wrote a very good article about racism in America, posing the question, "What if Glenn Beck was Black" http://elev8.com/daily-offerings/what-if-glenn-beck-was-a-black-man/ (read the article, its good), however I disagree fully with his hypothesis. His open ended pondering leaned toward the conclusion that advertisers backing out of Glenn Becks show, after calling President Obama a racist who has a deep seated hatred for white people and white culture, were in some way wront and jeopardizing free speech as we know it in America. The notion that if Glenn Beck was white there would not have been such a fiery backlash is frankly a bit proposterous and (to my own delight), shows that my friend doesn't follow Glenn Beck, which in my opinion, no one in their right mind should anyway. What if Glenn Beck was black?

To understand the boycott of Glenn Beck's show you would first have to understand exactly the kind of manipulative journalism Beck's show offers those who watch it. Since the presidential campaign Beck has been one of the many on the right wing fanning the flames of an ever growing racial current in America. Playing to the base fears of white America while all the while toting it as "news" on his show, though stating in interviews that he is not a reporter. He often twists facts that he reports, though more often he just makes them up completely. When you have a fanatical following of people who in all earnest could very well not be openly racist, just very afraid of the unknown, it is dangerous to bait them with racist and extremist rhetoric. For example, although Obama has no gun legislation on his agenda, Glenn Beck spent months cultivating the idea that President Obama was already underway with a national gun ban. Though it wasn't true it sparked a frenzy among those who believe the garbage that falls from Becks lips. In this instance, allowing Beck his airtime cost three Pittsburgh policemen their lives, a direct result of Glenn Beck follower Richard Povlovsky going on a killing spree, convinced of a conspiracy to take his guns away. What if Glenn Beck was BLACK?

More so than that, Glenn Beck has consistently played on the fear from the American public of a black man inthe white house. Like your article suggests, friend, I do not know where rural whites get their information about blacks from. I might guess some oral tradition mixed with horrible tv programming and typecasting with a dash of evening news. Either way, Americans have had 43 white men as president and rightfully there was some apprehension when that changed. It was Glenn Beck and ONLY Glenn Beck who suggested such outrageous things as President Obama is spending money and creating a healthcare bill as REPARATIONS for slavery. What if Gleen BECK was black?

When I think of Glenn Beck and his often amazingly incindiery comments, the man that comes to mind is Jeremiah Wright. They are both controversial figures, they have both spewed questionable hate speech. However, while Jeremiah Wright was villified by both sides of the aisle, Glenn Beck is celebrated and allowed to continue to have air time. What IF Glenn Beck was black?

To insinuate that Glenn Beck's sponsors are wrong in backing out of his show because 45,000 people signed a petition against him is downright ignorant of business practice and current popular culture. Had Glenn Beck been black the reprecussions would have been the exact same. Its true that Kanye West called the president a racist, but he did lose backing because of it. Though he had no television show that sponsored him, there was a racial backlash. Freedom of speech comes at a price. For the Dixie Chicks, who also criticized a white president, it came at the price of their success. To put it bluntly, as a corporation, the price you pay for associating yourself with people who your consumers dislike could very well be your bottom line. While we are a land that should never penalize free speech we are also capitalist.

We can even go further into the racial divide and use examples of bad behavior. Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna and has had his music banned on many stations, lost most of his most lucrative sponsorships and is struggling to make a comeback. Kobe Bryant had an affair with his wife, lost his Mcdonalds sponsorship, lost his Sprite sponsorship, and had to rebuild his image to only 50% of what it was. We all know Michael Vick's story. Meanwhile, Jose Conseco has cashed in on his steriod use. Jason Kidd has been arrested repeatedly for beating his wife without any reprimand from the NBA or loss of sponsorship. Gov. Mark Sandford cheated on his wife and used public money to travel to see his mistress and has yet to see any legal ramifications. I shutter to think the reprecussions of Glenn Beck's constant "stirring of the pot" if he were a black man. WHAT if Glenn Beck was black?

We all realize that the election of our first black president does not catapult us into some post racial America. In fact, just like during the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s, for every hard fought step forward there will be another setback. Yes, America elected its first black president, but "their" America didn't. We live in a country where a small portion has the loudest voice and right now they are screaming racial epithets at the top of their lungs. As the months wear on mood is getting increasingly nasty and just like the 60s, many fear that this boiling over will end with the life of the President. That last president to live through such praise and suffer through such rural white unrest with his candidacy was John F. Kennedy, and we all know tragic ending of Camelot.

While I will fight for anyones right to free speech, Rachel Maddow's, Keith Olbermann's, Rush Limbaugh's and yes, even Glenn Beck's, I will not tolerate the sort of speech that misleads and puts others in jeopardy. The corporations are right not to reward Glenn Beck's show with their advertising dollars and in some way that is just as American as Beck's speech. We are land of the free and they are free to back whomever it is that they agree with. Millions of men and women have died for the right of free speech, but when given a pulpit such as Glenn Beck, we should not celebrate his ignorance and hatred. Our attorney general was attacked by those on the right for saying that America was afraid to speak about race, but Pat Buchannan was not even heard when he said that America was built on the backs of White Men and that the reason why white men have dominated America is because they were better suited and he never questions why "The United States Track Team and Basketball team are filled with Black men". You are right, my friend, this is a nation that still has idiots and bigots of ALL races. But I can't stand with you in believing that the corporations are wrong or that there exists any double standard that leans TOWARD blacks. Our president is called racist for calling the procedures of a police officer who CLEARLY overstepped his authority stupid. Glenn Beck can go on tv and call our president a racist who DEEPLY hates whites, is paying blacks back their reparations by spending billions of ALL Americans' money, calling him a liar, a thief, and a murderous crook and Glenn only loses a sponsor or two. Now imagine...WHAT IF GLENN BECK WAS BLACK.

10 Things: I Wish White People Would Stop Doing

1. Touching black peoples hair and acting like its the first time they have ever seen something different from their own.

2. Feeling the need to identify race when telling a story that has nothing to do with race. ex: So my friend, he's black/asian/indian, and I are driving down the street...

3. Using the term "reverse racism". It takes a person with a complete and utter attitude of entitlement to think racism should in its general sense ONLY be applied by White people and if something racist happens to them...it is REVERSE racism...its just racism fool!

3B. Being upset at Affirmative Action: Sorry to break it to you, but you're already four times more likely to get whatever spot is available at whatever institution or job...affirmative action tries to even out the playing field..and it doesnt even truthfully succeed at that. Allow me to tell you a story. I took a test to measure my intelligence and capabilities to be placed in the Honors program my freshman year of high school. I scored a 99% on the test. It was the HIGHEST TEST SCORE RECORDED IN 17 years...or so im told. (Yea, im just as shocked as you are lol)However, since I was coming from an all black low income school and going to the "creme de la crem" school on the white side of town, I was told that the test was different and I wouldnt have scored a 99 on their test. So my mother told them to test me again. They did. It was the exact same test. I scored a 99 again. What did they do? Put me on ACADEMIC PROBATION and told my mother if i get less than an 87% in any of my classes I would be sent to regular classes. THAT is why we have Affirmative action to combat brash racism like that.

4. Walking on asphalt with no shoes or socks: I love white people. Thats why I dont want you to get hurt. There are rocks and shards of glass on the ground. Unless you have those George Of The Jungle feet, you could get seriously injured.

5. Being the goofy, almost racist comedic relief in black movies: This actually doubles as something I want both black and white people to stop doing. Tom Arnold and his family in Soul Plane, Warren Beaty in the movie with Halle Berry that nobody saw, The white men in BAPS, Steve Martin in that stupid movie with Queen Latifah. RAPPING GRANNIES. White actors...YOU OWN HOLLYWOOD. I would like to think you wouldnt have to degrade yourselves in such a way. Its demeaning enough for BLACK people to act like asses in dumb black comedies...you don't have to do it too. You're better than that. I think we all are.

6. Dancing and Clapping off beat: ACTUALLY i love this about white people. I went to a dive bar the other week and my friend and I were the only black people there and they were playing some of the most GANGSTA music I had ever heard. (In fact they played the Ghetto Boyz "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta")White folks were clappin off beat, slow dancing to fast songs and vice versa and it made me VERY happy. You dance not to the beat of the music but to the beat of your own drummer. Never lose that about yourselves.

7. Equating the Civil Rights Movement to the Gay Rights Movement: Now, before I get hate mail. Im actually FOR GAY RIGHTS. I think gays have the right to get married and they have the unalienable constitutional rights of all american citizens. BUT, there are two flaws in saying "We are fighting the same cause". 1. The jury is still out on whether we as humans choose our sexual preference or if we are genetically predisposed to the liking of penis or vagina. HOWEVER, when I was born there was no nurse there asking if i wanted to be black or white. 2. A race of people fighting for the right to be recognized as equal human beings is a bit different than fighting over the samantics of marriage. As far as I know there are no gay and straight drinking fountains.

8. Being Upset With The Election Of President Obama: America has been a country for about 233 years and for 232 years and 5 months its most powerful man has always been white. A black man gets in office for 7 months, and certain factions of America cant seem to take it. Its one thing to complain about his policies, its one thing to say, I just plain don't like him. Its quite another to illegitimize his citizenship by claiming he isnt an American citizen and is a secret terrorist. We all called Bush an idiot and even said he didnt too much care about minorities, we called him a liar and a host of other things. We never called him an Al-Quaida operative (even though he helped recruit a lot more men than Osama). That kind of speech is ignorant and dangerous and I will not tolerate it about my (and whether you like it or not..your) president.

9. Getting Attacked By Animals That You Should Never Be Attacked By: Mauled by a bear? Eaten by an alligator? A Tiger? A GIRAFFE?: I wont say much about this besides...white people...you should really have figured this one out by now. First, stop going into the woods and pissing off animals in their living room. Alligators and bears arent like black dudes, they wont let you pet their hair and comment about how wooly it is. They will just attack you. Also, black people AND LIONS have been living in Africa for centuries............dont often read about them losing an arm trying to save their kids from lion attacks....im just sayin.

10. Being scared of all other races: Back when I was living in Georgia, a white man told me, "Im tired of giving to everybody else when my family and the family of other good white men BUILT America. The country was BUILT ON OUR BACKS and you guys keep trying to take it away. This is my America". A bold thing to say in a group of black men, but I respected him for his dillusions. Truth be told, slave labor built the American economy into what it is today (Its very easy to become the richest nation in the world when you have free laborers for 100 years.), the Chinese built the railroad system that made us even more powerful, and the great strength of our military was in its numbers, intelligence, and the fearlessness of its soldiers, an assortment of races. I know the ever changing, multi-cultural, interracial world of today may seem scary to those who want to hold on to the image of America as pure white as the driven snow or a Norman Rockwell painting, but that is not America. We are a diverse country with diverse people. No need to fear the changes or the people making them.

Ten Things: I Wish Black People Would Stop Doing

1. Giving babies stupid names: Everyone wants their child to be interesting and unique and many times that starts with an interesting name, but there is a fine line between creative and destructive. If your name is Mary and your husband's name is Kevin....don't name your son Markevin. If you really want to give your children a gift they can realize when they grow up, give them a name that will allow them to get a job.

2. Being Ignorant In Public: In the confines of your own home its ok to be a lil Coon if you would like...in fact...nothing realizes stress better than breaking out some coonery. HOWEVER, the middle of a public venue is NOT the time to become a shufflin negro with no home training. I was recently waiting for a table at a restaraunt when a couple walked in and stood behind me for 15 minutes. The woman began to raise all hell because she was not being seated. Had she calmly inquired as to why...the coon would have realized that you have to go to the hostess and announce yourself and THEN they find you a table (I would have thought anyone who has ever been out to eat knows that, but you cant take coons anywhere).

3. Rapping and Singing To Yourself In Public: I know the lyrics...you know the lyrics and Lil Wayne and Alicia Keys still perform their songs a little better than you. Stop looking like a fool, this isnt the bathroom mirror and you're not anyones American Idol.

4. Rewarding idiocy: African Americans have a literacy rate almost as low as immigrants and the said part is we aren't trying to learn English as a second language. Parents please stop encouraging your children to talk "street" and then being surprised that the street is the only arena where they can succeed. Enunciation and proper syntax aren't being white. They are traits of intelligent men and women.
Celebrating the little boy who wants to rap but can't even write a sentence is pathetic. Instead of buying your son Jeezy the snowman shirts how about buying them a book. Instead of having them look up to lil Wayne how about a doctor or a lawyer. When I was a kid my Unt and uncles would ask me to say my abcs and then reward me for knowing them. Now kids get rewards for knowing how to do the "stanky leg"

5. Complaining: Slave ships came and got us...thats true...we spent years suffering the indignities of slavery...yes, true. We then have spent the rest of our existence as a people fighting against the outrageous injustices of discrimination and hatred...nothing is closer to the truth. However, the story we tell at the end of the day should be we succeeded "in spite of" not failed "because of". Black people need to recognize that our race is our strongest asset, not our greatest liability. Just like bodybuilding, added stress and repeated abuse only serve as a sort of natural selection that has made us a much more resilient people. Its why 200 years out of slavery we are some of the most fine tuned athletes, most talented artists, and most creative minds on the planet. If you open up your eyes to realize we all have our own struggles to overcome then you would know there is nothing to complain about.

6. Senseless Obama Praise: Now, I worked for the Obama campaign in CHICAGO where it all started. I know the man's policies, I know the man's ideas, I know how the organization works and I know just how great of a president he could possibly be. Like many, I'm not ashamed to say I fell to my knees and wept like a baby when he was elected because to black people across the world, we never thought the day would come when America allowed itself to truly be an equal country...even for a day. That BEING SAID....it is one of my greatest pet peeves to hear a black person talking about how great Obama is and then when you ask them for his policies they can't name ONE. In fact, very many elderly black men and women dont actually AGREE with Obama's more liberal thinking. I love the man and what he stands for as much as the next black/white/yellow/or red guy, but know WHY you stand behind a man before you stand behind him.

7. Wasting Money: On average we earn thousands less than whites yet spend thousands more. Jordans are nice shoes, but when you make 13 dollars an hour, your 9 year old son doesn't have to them. Having realistic priorities...thats what differentiates adults from children.

8. Being In McDonalds Commercials: Somewhere along the lines McDonald's ditched its iconic slogan "Have you had you're break today?" and replaced it and the smiling multi-cultural faces of its pretend staff and clientele with boombastic niggeriffic imagery. I'm tired of seeing black people poplocking and rapping why eating Big Macs. I have never been in McDonalds and ordered a #3 and then leaned back in a B-Boy stance nor as a child did was my DREAM to work at a Mcdonalds (like one commercial suggests of a 4 year old black boy and his older brother). Its pure racist madness and yet black actors keep auditioning for the role of Nigga #1 and Nigga #2. As a black actor myself I realize roles are hard to come and easy to lose, but integrity is even harder to come by and once you trade it for $300 dollars and a free lunch, you don't get it back.

9. Wearing any gold, platinum, or silver mouth apparatus that isn't braces: I dont really have anything against gold fronts and the like...i mean besides the fact that they make you look incredibly stupid. My problem is...I've never met a person with that crap in their mouth who's breath DIDNT smell like hangover vomit. *Forrest Gump voice* and thats really all I have to say about that.

10. WATCHING BET: Black Entertainment Television hasn't been black or entertaining for quite some years, but since selling itself to radically racist Sumner Redstone and his Empire of Evil (Which includes, but is not limited to: Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and the most often gag inducing (both for her concrete like face and for the things that fall out of it) He-She, Greta Van Susteren), BET has been little more than a cartoon. A walking joke that depicts Black America in the most negative of lights. By cutting the nightly news program from the station, Redstone and Viacomm succeeded in stealing the station's last vestige of intelligence. Now, BET is little more than a cautionary tale of what can happen to a good idea when it is influenced by not so good of people. And along the way it has done more than its share to contribute to the de-evolution of young black men and women across the country and the deterioration of the black image. KKK members should pay homage to Bob Johnson and his cohorts for making such a powerful recruiting tool for white supremacists. The station is a celebration of coonery at every angle and is in no truer a representation of black life than gangsta rap is a representative of "the streets". It has spawned a nation of white children imitating what they think it is to be black, to the embarrassment of us all. It has given us a half hearted "Rap it up" campaign (one that disgusts me not only because they air the commercials right after endorsing videos in which artists are OPENLY TALKING ABOUT UNSAFE SEX, but also because they think so very little of their audience that they couldn't even spell wrap correctly. As if black men and women will only respond to "hip hop" oriented messages, making a complete mockery of the situations severity), "Coonery Hill" and a host of other blemishes on the face of black america. Recently, BET honored our greatest star at the BET Awards by wholly dishonoring him. A poorly run, uninspired, vulgar, mess of a show. Exactly the opposite of every SINGLE thing that Michael Jackson stood for. The only solace I take is that had Michael Jackson been alive, he wouldn't even have attended the awards ceremony anyhow. I wont be attending anymore either.

A Good Guys Truth

Quite often I am accosted by single women with complaints of their not being enough good men "out there". Usually, I have the patience to just humor them and tell them everything is going to be alright. I tell them that they are too good for their ex or that in time they will find the person they are looking for, however, the other day an older man in the gym said something that resonated with me. "Brian", he said while rubbing beads of sweat off his brow, "a friend is a person who tells it like it is. Not how it should be." Then his lifting buddy, a slight man with sixty years of wisdom and probably sixty gray strands of hair, joined the discussion. "My mother used to say the wounds of omission cut a lot deeper than the wounds of the truth...and they take a lot more time to heal." So in lieu of these two very very truthful statements, I must now be very very true. Here it goes:

Dear Women,

I know this doesn't apply to all of you and there are many of you who don't need to hear this. Sadly though, there are many many more of you who do. All the nights you sat by the phone waiting for him to call, all the nights spent staining satin pillows with the salt of your tears...it is all YOUR fault. You and only you are to blame for the problems you have encountered in relationships. Forgive me if I sound harsh but I know of no other way to deliver sound a message. The truth is, many, NOT ALL, but many women suffer not from a lack of options but from a lack of maturity. There truly are a vast amount of good, hard-working, god-fearing, "I can bring him home to meet my parents" type of men "out there". The problem is simply that what you say you want and what you constantly decide to have are in constant opposition to one another. For the younger sect of women who say they want a nice guy, tell me then why you break your neck and run off the next woman to be with the man with no job, no prospects, and no ambition? Perhaps such an inexplicable behavior lends itself to the poisonous notion that you can "fix" a man. Take it from a man, you can not. You are all beautiful inside and out, but frankly there doesn't exist a single woman on Earth that "makes me wanna be a better man". Putting a new coat of paint on a house doesn't keep the termites from eating its rotting foundation. Change always comes from within and then radiates outward. A man will change when a MAN DECIDES it is time for him to change. Not because of your handy work. Use some of your common sense and stop looking to change a bad situation into a good one....and just look for a good situation. And if, by chance, you still find yourself wanting something that cant be tamed...go ride a wild horse.
It is true that men have our issues, but you exacerbate things by becoming willing enablers to all the drama. In fact, it is a distinct lack of maturity that draws the women I am referring to toward drama. You seem to crave it. A woman once told me that if a relationship is completely devoid of drama its boring. Obviously, she has not stepped into the real world. OUT HERE in the real world there are plenty of dramatic things and as one of the real and good men you claim to seek I can tell you that as hard as life can be for a man, a real man doesn't want to come home to a storm in his relationship. In fact, a real man doesn't look to cause the people he loves any unnecessary strife. Children fight. Adults communicate.
Speaking of communication, I want to take some time in this letter to ask questions rather than open wounds. Why be with someone who is not equipped emotionally to handle an adult relationship? Is it because you aren't? Why be with someone who is verbally abusive? Do you believe so little in yourself that nurturing conversation hurts you? If the thug life doesn't appeal to you, why chase after those who fit its image? If you can't bring him to your parents home, why even bring him to yours?
Remember that we are the exact mirror image of that which we pursue. If you are in pursuit of those who just arent that good then its time to evaluate you. So when I told you that you were too good for your ex, I apologize for lying to a multitude of friends. You were just as good as him. You deserved him. And until you begin to wise up and break whatever chains constrain you to this behavior, he is all that you deserve. I am not saying this to ruffle your feathers or because I am jaded. I am saying it because I love each and every one of you. There are good men out there and in time you may open your eyes to the many standing right in front of you, but you'll never deserve better than what you are.

Love,

Brian